"I believe that everyone does their best with the knowledge and resources they have at the time," mental health coach Tiffany Toombs tells Bustle. "Especially with the amount of change between today’s generation and their parents ... moms simply didn’t know any better about the impact they were having on their child’s psyche." It could be your mom was just parroting things she'd learned from her mom, who adopted unhealthy ideas from her mom, and so on.
Now that we’ve settled into our New Year’s resolution routine (or not), we’ve been presented with a new opportunity to refresh our lives with new goals: Lent. The interesting thing about Lent is that it’s 40 days long — which, incidentally, is the same amount of time (give or take a week) that it takes to create new habits. This is the perfect time to think about what things you might want to give up in order to make your current relationship even stronger. Check out these habits experts say are worth breaking up with.
1. Not Setting Boundaries: “There’s this belief that when we’re intimate with someone, we can’t set boundaries with them. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Boundaries are an essential part of relationships! Boundaries ensure that no one partner feels less than or resentful to the other.” — Tiffany Toombs, Life Coach
Mindset coach Tiffany Toombs suggests battling anxiety by being present together. "Anxiety represents a situation where the child is living too far in the future and has disconnected from the present. Creating a daily mindfulness routine to do as a family can teach the child and 'rewire' their nervous system to stay in the present," she said.
If a past relationship of yours ended on a bad note then you might notice that you still feel weighed down by the sadness that it didn't work out, or that you're still reliving the negative memories. That's what's known as relationship baggage, and it can carry quite the emotional weight.
Without even realizing it, you might be carrying around emotional baggage — even if it's been years since your breakup. So it's important to not only recognize that you're having difficulties letting go, but it's also a good idea to learn how to move past it so that it no longer weighs you down.
"Having emotional baggage definitely affects the way we behave in future relationships if we don’t get rid of it," life coach Tiffany Toombs tells Bustle. And, it can make you feel bad about yourself, even if you aren't looking to be in another relationship any time soon.
If you haven’t realized it yet, our minds are truly phenomenal. Our minds are without a doubt the most advanced supercomputer of any era yet. And so it may be surprising to you that only 5% of your actions, behaviours, thoughts, habits and beliefs are conscious. Your math is right – 95% of your life is driven my unconscious forces – beliefs you don’t realize you have and behaviours or habits you just can’t seem to change.
I attended a seminar a couple years ago where a number of successful entrepreneurs presented their systems and beliefs around why they believe they became so successful. One of the speakers said three phrases that really stuck with me, and has ultimately not only changed the way I view my world, but also the way I help my clients overcome their mindset “plateaus”. It helped me to understand choice fatigue in greater detail and develop strategies to overcome it. These three things were:
1. “All human beings ensure their behaviour is consistent with their perceptions of their identity”
2. “You cannot be what you do not already define yourself as”
3. “When I interrupted his perception of himself things changed”
Communication. It seems so simple…you open your mouth, move your lips and tongue and words come out. Someone hears those words and understands what you mean. Easy, right?
Communication goes so much deeper. You see the purpose of communication is not about the words we use or how we say it. This assumption causes us to communicate on a very conscious level. It can also lead to an array of miscommunications, misunderstandings and negative belief systems.
As a society we have become so disconnected from ourselves. How did we get this way? And how do we get back to ourselves? If you're ready to join the 90 Day Guided Online Program - Find Your True North, click: https://s.privy.com/wX8hd1k